‘Essoyes’ Acrylic on Vintage French Linen – unframed – 27 1/2 ” by 26 1/2″
Say Yes While Keeping No In Mind – You said yes to the apple but it doesn’t mean you said yes to the core. You said yes to folding laundry but it doesn’t mean you have to waste you time yessing on exactly matching corners. You said yes to dinner and a movie…you get my drift.
Say Let Me Think About It – If there is time before you have to decide and you are honestly considering a yes, actually thinking about it can provide clarity to both you and the other party. This gives you time to consider your boundaries and what aspects of the yes could become nos. Communicating your boundaries clearly can even alliviate the need for no. Be careful though, this is also a stall and avoidance tactic. Beginning with an “I am interested, let me think about it.” will be better received, especially if you follow up.
Make The Decision Without Expectations – I call these heart decisions because they are always YES and nothing can get in the way of them. These ones take you to places that you’ve never imagined and those you have dreamed of. Saying yes like this can never leave you disappointed.
Make the Decision Whole Heartedly – Never second guess it. When your head goes there, and it might, go right back to why the yes or no was right for you in that moment.
Say No With Yes In Mind – This is all about the timing. Sometimes it has to be no in that moment and you may feel some regrets as a result. That’s okay. Reminding yourself that a yes could come at a later time helps to create calm. You are not closing the door forever.
Body Knows -This is a resounding, intuitive, boundary decision that is always a NO. You feel it in every cell of your being before your head tries to trick you into saying you should because. This is not the same thing as the mind saying no because of fear or anxiety. If you can’t tell the difference, begin paying attention to how the back of your knees feel in fear or anxiousness. It’s usually nothing. It’s usually all gut and chest. In a body knows situation even the backs of your knees will tingle. Listen to the backs of your knees. Listen to the body. Say the NO. Thank the body for it’s wisdom. Never second guess this.
Systems Thinking – Even when we think we’ve made a bad decision, we can find happiness in it. Thinking beyond yourself to see how it affects others will usually reveal some compassionate goodness. Every decision affects more than just you. Thinking widely about the others touched by it will always give you a reason to smile and a reason to forgive yourself and move forward.
Mindfulness – A decision is always made in the past. Shrug it off. Let it go. You have now. Breathe.
Passionate Decisions – You have to have tenacity for these; the tenacity that comes from big dreams and relentless passion and often, love. Think crazy glue. Wear it, pronounce it, believe it, carry it, stand by it, sell it. Never sway from it…until you get ‘there’ and only you know where ‘there’ is. When you make a passionate decision, and you call it that, everyone will forgive your pitbull like grip on reality so you can really dive into it. Never regret these decisions; they happen to help us learn something.
Don’t Waffle – When you do this repeatedly it makes you feel bad inside and it makes you appear untrustworthy if others know about it. Nobody wants that. Say yes or say no and stick to it. Kick your doubts to the curb!
Good luck with this everybody! Let me know if it helps.